It's very kind of a person to send a sympathy message to someone who has experienced the unfortunate passing of a close one. It's only fitting that they should be sent a thank you letter for sharing their message of sympathy. Though it can be forgiven if sending a thank you note is forgotten, this traditional act of propriety can help with the healing process.
It would be fair to say that people are far more responsive in our era about the emotional impact that death delivers. There's really no reason to feel pressured to send a thank you for a sympathy message as there was in the past. However if you do decide you'd like to share your appreciation it's best to do so within two weeks of the the passing of your loved one. Remember that those who sent their sympathies won't be expecting a lengthy note from you. A short sympathy message thank you note is feasible and may be in the form of a pre-printed card.
You will want to send thank you messages to anyone who sent a sympathy letter or card as well as to those who sent gifts, flowers and especially money. In some case it can be arranged for the funeral home to do this on your behalf, Check with your funeral director to see if they provide this service.
Store-bought cards are fine in general, it would be more proper to send a hand written know to the particular parties. These would include pall bearers, clergy and any family or friends who provided special help in puting together the service or assisted in other ways following the passing of your loved one. Periodically a doctor or surgeon may have provided exceptional or additional services and they should be remembered also.
A generic thank you example for those who sent you a sympathy message or short message would be something like: Thank you so much for your card/letter of sympathy. Knowing that you were thinking of us during this difficult time was an amazing help to us.
If you are responding to someone who wrote you a lengthy sympathy message, then a handwritten letter in return is proper. It will help if you reread the communication again before you write your own. It may be a bit painful, but it will help you to respond naturally to anything the person might have mentioned and will help with the grieving process. Thank them for sharing any memories they may have written about, or respond to an invitation to meet if that is mentioned.
If someone has provided specific assistance, thank them exactly for what they have done. Whether it was babysitting, assisting with transport to or from the funeral or cooking you a meal, knowing that their help was appreciated and made a difference can help them with their own grieving. For pallbearers a little more of a personal approach is required. Mention that the deceased would have been honoured by their actions and let them know how much you appreciate what they have done. Sometimes a small gift is welcomed; a framed picture of the deceased for them to keep is a nice touch.
Of course you don't want to forget any clergy who presided over the funeral service. A sincere thank you and a small donation to the church or other entity involved if affordable is considered common. Don't feel rushed to make a donation though, especially if the deceased's death has left you in economic difficulty. In that case the fee charged is sufficient.
Though sending thank you communications for sympathy messages might seem like a demanding task at first, once you begin you'll start to feel its healing effects. Sharing memories of the deceased, following up on arrangements to meet and just being reminded that so many people were there for you during your time of need will go a long way to helping you find balance.
Author Resource:-
Suzie Kolber recommends ObituariesHelp.org for sympathy messages, free condolence letters, guides to building a family tree, sample notes of sympathy and condolence, written examples of eulogies as well as help with all aspects of funeral planning.
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