A good friend of mine lost her uncle recently.. She is someone my mate works with and whom we visit with socially on occasion. When her uncle died, we really didn't know what was expected of us. My wife's colleague is from Belarus, we really didn't know what the protocol was for her culture with regards to death. "Do people from Belarus send traditional sympathy messages?" I asked my wife. She was less sure of the traditions than I was. Not good. And if a sympathy message was suitable, what were her beliefs, and what do we say?
Different Cultural Beliefs
As it turned out, my wife's friend was from Belarus was a Christian, and had grown up in a Western culture, so a sympathy message was reasonable. It still made me wonder though, what would have happened if she was a Hindu? For Hindus, death is not final, and is barely a crossroads in the untold journey of the spirit. Instead of sympathy messages, do we send them a congratulations on reaching the after-life?l? Of course not, in fact mourning rituals are very sanctified and rigid in this culture. Death is a glum moment as in any other culture; they have lost a family member whom they're not sure if they'll ever see again. In spite of our religious beliefs, we all approach someone's passing with a sense of loss. ObituariesHelp.org has a huge list of example sympathy messages that you might want to consider reviewing if you're addressing someone from a different community.
Truly the point is, before we deliver any sympathy messages, we should show respect to the person and figure out what is right. Though a culture might be accepting to receiving sympathy messages from others of the same persuasion, they might not agree to contact from "outsiders". And if sympathys are readily received from other cultures, we need to know what and what not to say in our letter. In certain cultures for instance, it is forbidden to speak the name of the dead. With other cultures or beliefs we need to be aware of whom to address the letter to. For example; in certain religions, if a husband dies, it is considered in bad taste to address the letter to the wife. Rather, the eldest son should be the addressed of any condolence messages.
Cultural Reponses to Death
Whenever you're addressing the passing of someone, it's important to consider how their culture reacts to death. Though individual experiences regarding death are quite familiar across different backgrounds, cultural heritage needs to be acknowledged. This would entail gaining knowledge of any traditions and rituals which may need to be respected when paying homage through sympathy messages. Some issues to consider when sending sympathy messages:
. What are the family's beliefs about what happens after death?
. What does the family regard as appropriate expressions of sympathy?
. Are certain types of death less acceptable, i.e. suicide, or more difficult to bear e.g. death of a child? Do you need to be sensitive about specific issues?
. Are there any rituals to be appreciated? For example in some cultures the family are isolated for a period after the passing of a loved one.
Conclusion
Overall, regardless of culture, we all feel the hurt of death. As human beings, losing a loved one is the source of immeasurable grief and sadness. Sympathy messages will likely be well received if they come from your heart, especially by those of different cultures living in the Western world. They realize that it is part of our culture to send sympathy messages and are generally graceful in accepting them. It does show a little forethought and extra attention to detail was considered if you do a little cultural research before sending any sympathy messages. A little consideration exudes a wealth of love.
Author Resource:-
Suzie Kolber recommends ObituariesHelp.org for sympathy messages, free condolence letters, guides to building a family tree, sample notes of sympathy and condolence, written examples of eulogies as well as help with all aspects of funeral planning.
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