It's the time of emails, instant messages, texting and social media, we hardly take time to write a personal letter. Writing a sympathy message to a bereaved person, gives you an opportunity to create an endurant memento. It also gives you a means of honoring the memory of the deceased and a chance to offer sympathy and hope to survivors.
Our fundamental focus is on drafting a sympathy message. The write-up will not discuss the grief process. I mentioned it here to provide a clearer impression of grief and help you draft a warm and heartfelt letter.
Examples of what to write for this difficult time can be accessed at ObituariesHelp.org. There are no shortage of samples there that will guide you through this exhausting time.
Parts of grief - Once you learn of the news of the person's death, whether of a loved one, friend or family member, it is hard to break away from the feeling of grief that envelops you. Comprehending the elements of grief will help you to write a sincere and earnest sympathy message. Here are some of the components of grief.
1. Shock at the loss
2. Denial that the loss occurred
3. Looking inside yourself for an answer
4. Bouts of consternation
5. A bit of sadness
6. A touch of anger
7. Feelings of self-reproach
8. Preoccupation and forgetfulness
9. Deep thought before accepting the loss
10. Letting go and moving on
The seven elements of a sympathy message
a. Acknowledging the loss - In the starting sentences of your sympathy letter, to let the person to whom you were writing know how you heard the news. Use it to enunciate your shock and dismay about the loss.
b. Impart your sympathy. In this next section of your sympathy note, let the person you are writing to know how much you cared for the person they lost. How you share in their grief and anguish. Above all, be honest. If you knew the individual, who passed away show your sadness and offer help to the bereaved. Give them sympathy, letting him or her know they are not abandoned during this time.
c. Write about the deceased. Mention things you know of, about the deceased, which brought joy to others. Recount some great experiences with the deceased. Maybe about sports or travel-related. Use humor kindness to lessen the pain of the situation.
If you did not know the deceased personally, you should bring up things you heard from others. This gives the bereaved reel comfort in knowing others appreciated his or her loved one.
d. Speak about memorable occasions involving the dead. You can mention how the deceased had an impact on your life. This could be work-related, school or community events. Add a sense of humor when recalling these events. Remember; laughter is a good medicine and can cure a lot of ills".
e. Talk about the character set of the individual you are writing. In this part of your condolence letter, show reassurances to the bereaved help to boost their confidence. Sharing emotions of grief, bitterness, sadness, guilt and soul-searching can help to heal. Do not be afraid to bring up the person's strength in overcoming laborious situations in the past. In the letter, reminding the person you are writing to how strong he or she was in dealing with a laborious situation. Grief will not last for good.
f. Make an offer to do something for the bereaved. Most notes of condolence include an offer of help. If you feel like assisting, say so. Even if you have no desire to assist, still write a sympathy communication. We regularly offer our aid out of decorum to someone who is grieving. Without thinking, we often we say, "Let me know if there is anything I can do!" You have to understand, this can put pressure on the bereaved to ask for your assistance. It would be better to offer specific assistance, such as picking up the kids from a sporting event, answering the phones, welcoming people as they visit or helping to sort the letters and card that are coming in. Once you offer your assistance, be sure to keep your promise.
g. In closing. Be gracious in how end your sympathy message. It is the last thing the bereaved will read. This is the part of your communication, he or she will look back for a long time. Let your comments reflect your true feelings. You could use, "love', yours truly',"best regards" or with deepest sympathy. You could choose a phrase from the list below to end your letter.*
. May the calm, which comes from the memories of, love shared, comfort you now and in future.
. May the comfort of God help you during this heavy time.
. We are thinking of you during this laborious time.
. Words seem inadequate to express the anguish we feel.
. Although no words can really help to relieve the loss you bear, just know that you are very close in every thought and prayer.
. You have my deepest condolences on the death of your uncle.
. Oh, heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains.
. Our hearts go out to you in your time of anguish.
. I was deeply upset to learn of your loss. My thoughts are with you.
. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Author Resource:-
Suzie Kolber recommends ObituariesHelp.org for sympathy notes, free condolence letters, guides to building a family tree, sample letters of sympathy and condolence, written examples of eulogies as well as help with all aspects of funeral planning.
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